My New Business Plan

In 2007 I was scared to death about how my husband and I - he owns a mortgage company - were going to survive the eminent real estate crash.  We've both been in the business for over 30 years (me 35!!) and had ridden the waves of many tides before. BUT NEVER ANYTHING LIKE WE EXPECTED NEXT. We had survived waves, white caps even, but we knew a Tsunami was on the way!!

We were watching 60 Minutes one night and saw a short story about a call girl madam who had just gotten out of jail. She did a few months in a country club facility - probably spent her time playing tennis and crafting - and she was now out and on the book circuit tour.  Her story caught my attention.

"As real estate agents," I said to Robert (my husband), "we are all prostitutes so maybe I'll start a call girl business and only hire other broke agents. I'd be helping out my fellow agents that way too."

He smiled but said nothing.

"Seriously, I'll only solicit rich old men that are blind so the women won't need to worry about what they look like naked and the guy probably won't be able to have sex anyway. It's a brilliant plan."

"Yes, honey," was his only response. He was engrossed in the next 60 minutes story.

"I'll run it for a few years before getting caught and will then go to jail for a few months in my own country club facility.  Hell, by then I'll be ready for a vacation!  While I'm in jail, I'll write a book about my plight, they'll option it for a movie and I'll retire a rich woman - and then it won't matter that I'll also be a convicted felon."

I continued to tease about my new business plan for a couple years until one day I was speaking with an acquaintance who happens to be a published author and national speaker. When he asked how Robert and I were doing trying to survive the now very real economic meltdown, I told him my call girl business plan.

"You need to do that," he directed at the end of my story.

"But Jeffery," I replied. "It's illegal."

"I didn't mean start the business, I meant write the book - as if you had run the business. Everyone is struggling to survive the mess our country is in. Keep it funny and give them something to laugh about."

Two years later, that's what I've done.